I always thought grief looked / felt like tears, swollen eyes, poignant stabbing memories, flashbacks of nostalgia...
Since I wasn't having those symptoms, I thought I was "doing fine."
No. Actually, no, I'm not.
Today grief is a grey fog that has settled into my brain. It is a deep, deep exhaustion. Even though I slept relatively well last night, I have had to lay my head on my desk a couple of times and just close my eyes and breathe.
I can't remember the last time I felt so tired, so unable to think. People say kind things and I barely have the energy to say anything in response.
No tears. Just a tight feeling in my chest and the strange grey fog swirling through my brain.