Wednesday, April 3, 2013

Grey fog

I always thought grief looked / felt like tears, swollen eyes, poignant stabbing memories, flashbacks of nostalgia...

Since I wasn't having those symptoms, I thought I was "doing fine."

No. Actually, no, I'm not.

Today grief is a grey fog that has settled into my brain. It is a deep, deep exhaustion. Even though I slept relatively well last night, I have had to lay my head on my desk a couple of times and just close my eyes and breathe.

I can't remember the last time I felt so tired, so unable to think. People say kind things and I barely have the energy to say anything in response.

No tears. Just a tight feeling in my chest and the strange grey fog swirling through my brain.


2 comments:

Polly @ Helping Little Hands said...

Love you, Mom! Give it time. Just like wet fog...the sun will eventually come out, warm things up and the fog will all of a sudden lift.

Dorothy said...

I think the fog is a blessing. It will keep you from doing too much. Maybe you just need to be still and process this significant time in your life.