I always thought grief looked / felt like tears, swollen eyes, poignant stabbing memories, flashbacks of nostalgia...
Since I wasn't having those symptoms, I thought I was "doing fine."
No. Actually, no, I'm not.
Today grief is a grey fog that has settled into my brain. It is a deep, deep exhaustion. Even though I slept relatively well last night, I have had to lay my head on my desk a couple of times and just close my eyes and breathe.
I can't remember the last time I felt so tired, so unable to think. People say kind things and I barely have the energy to say anything in response.
No tears. Just a tight feeling in my chest and the strange grey fog swirling through my brain.
Love you, Mom! Give it time. Just like wet fog...the sun will eventually come out, warm things up and the fog will all of a sudden lift.
ReplyDeleteI think the fog is a blessing. It will keep you from doing too much. Maybe you just need to be still and process this significant time in your life.
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